TELL ME you don't miss the days of Brit Brit! Even after the emotional roller coaster she put me through for the past few years (praying that she'd make a comeback or at least be a train wreck with a great, well-mixed/edited album...then the disappointment of the album combined with her being a total mess) and even after saying I'm done with her, I realized that I miss her dearly.
Blame it on this clip from America's Got Talent that I referenced last BLIRT (copy & paste to your browser):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKyCakDuQFQ
Seriously, he's amazing and he puts a little bit of Brit Brit back into our lives. Thank you, Derek!
Good stuff on the Madonna front...she's looking to hire Paul McCartney's divorce lawyer. I actually feel sorry for Guy Ritchie. Did you see them on the red carpet recently where the reporter asked him questions and she answered for him? Wives are btchs.
Speaking of wives being btches, I am definitely one of those! So...the hubby isn't around much these days (probably because I'm horrible to live with!) and I now realize how much toilet paper I actually go through. So now I can't scream about "what, am I the toilet paper fairy that's sole responsibility in life is to put a new roll on the holder?"
I have no one to blame for anything and it really blows!!!
So have a great Friday and a fantastic weekend and enjoy the Friday Song of the Day from our BLIRTy Music Correspondent! I'm off...
"Coldplay’s album is #1 today so let’s go with that…
I keep calling this song “Living La Vida Loca” by accident – I’ve got to stop that!"
http://www.last.fm/music/Coldplay/_/Viva+La+Vida
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
THE BLIRT 6/20 & Friday Song of the Day
How many people are actually working today? Well, I'M NOT!
It's my first Summer Friday, my friends. I have to brag that New York is the best city to work in during summertime. Where else do you get to pick Fridays to have off just for the heck of it? Okay, maybe LA, but that doesn't even make sense!
What DOES make sense is the BLIRTy reader who thought my neighbor in The 'Wood may have had a fig tree in the yard under the tarp...here's her supposedly true account, and I cracked up at her cracking up, so I have to print her entire response:
"You just made me laugh so HARD with your Fig tree comment! thanks for the MUCH needed laugh!!!
P.S. I will give you some "inside information" regarding my vast Fig tree knowledge.....
When I was working at [deleted company name] (for seven years 2000-2007) there were these little-ish trees outside the side back entrance and I would notice that they would cover them up with huge blue plastic tarps for like a month and I was all confused about it...so I did some investigative work and was told they were FIG trees....end of story, all matter of fact --no big deal like--- and then one morning I was on my way in and they were uncovered and LO AND BEHOLD there were figs growing on those trees, I even picked one and put it on a coworkers desk as a joke and proof that these mysterious blue tarp covered trees were indeed FIG trees!
By the way, this is incredible knowledge for all of our BLIRTy readers. Once again, I provide an invaluable service and always aim to educate!
Here's an interesting Friday Song of the Day from our BLIRTy Music Correspondent, and she says:
"Yes, you read right – the band’s name is Black Kids."
Black Kids : I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance
(believe it, or not, they're listed under "Indie / Crunk / Religious")
http://www.myspace.com/blackkidsrock
Enjoy the song, have a great Friday and a fantastic weekend!
I'm off...
It's my first Summer Friday, my friends. I have to brag that New York is the best city to work in during summertime. Where else do you get to pick Fridays to have off just for the heck of it? Okay, maybe LA, but that doesn't even make sense!
What DOES make sense is the BLIRTy reader who thought my neighbor in The 'Wood may have had a fig tree in the yard under the tarp...here's her supposedly true account, and I cracked up at her cracking up, so I have to print her entire response:
"You just made me laugh so HARD with your Fig tree comment! thanks for the MUCH needed laugh!!!
P.S. I will give you some "inside information" regarding my vast Fig tree knowledge.....
When I was working at [deleted company name] (for seven years 2000-2007) there were these little-ish trees outside the side back entrance and I would notice that they would cover them up with huge blue plastic tarps for like a month and I was all confused about it...so I did some investigative work and was told they were FIG trees....end of story, all matter of fact --no big deal like--- and then one morning I was on my way in and they were uncovered and LO AND BEHOLD there were figs growing on those trees, I even picked one and put it on a coworkers desk as a joke and proof that these mysterious blue tarp covered trees were indeed FIG trees!
By the way, this is incredible knowledge for all of our BLIRTy readers. Once again, I provide an invaluable service and always aim to educate!
Here's an interesting Friday Song of the Day from our BLIRTy Music Correspondent, and she says:
"Yes, you read right – the band’s name is Black Kids."
Black Kids : I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance
(believe it, or not, they're listed under "Indie / Crunk / Religious")
http://www.myspace.com/blackkidsrock
Enjoy the song, have a great Friday and a fantastic weekend!
I'm off...
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
THE BLIRT 6/18
WHAT GOES ON IN THIS WORLD??
Even with all the horrible crap in this lifetime, there's so much entertainment around us everywhere that I can't contain myself tonight.
As I type, I'm STOKED that America's Got Talent is getting ready to start. How can you not laugh at The Hoff and Jerry Springer? OMG, I'm dying.
Living Lohan...,Richards, It's Complicated...Celebrity Circus (cannot wait) and now this? It'll be filmed in Vegas with Jerry Springer as the host! I'm dying to give you all a play-by-play, but I'm going to have to shut my trap very soon so I can soak it all in and get just a little bit more stupid. At the very least, I'll realize I have no talent but I may also realize I'm less of a tool than The Hoff (at least I hope).
I actually feel like a bit of a tool...remember the giant random thing covered up in the yard in Maplewood? Well, mystery solved. Unfortunately, it was NOT a fig tree as one BLIRTy reader suggested (but this makes me very curious about how fig trees grow and if you put bags over them at any point and if they look like big rectangular blocks).
Another BLIRTy reader solved it...it must have been an oil tank being replaced in someone's yard because now there's a big patch of dirt that looks like something (or someone) was buried in the ground.
I went for a jog tonight and saw another one and would have been WIGGED OUT if I hadn't known about the oil tank trend going on in the 'wood.
But I have one new thing to share, of course...I totally appreciate when people don't just get mad, but they get ticked off and do something about it. Took this photo on my walk to the train station this morning. How awesome that they wrapped a bag under the sign!!! This is sumpn' special!
OMG, I love Sharon Osbourne....and the Brit Brit impersonator got through to the next round and he made me really want the old-school, hot, hair-extension wearing, lip syncing Brit Brit back! Come back to us, Brit Brit!!!
I'm off!
Even with all the horrible crap in this lifetime, there's so much entertainment around us everywhere that I can't contain myself tonight.
As I type, I'm STOKED that America's Got Talent is getting ready to start. How can you not laugh at The Hoff and Jerry Springer? OMG, I'm dying.
Living Lohan...,Richards, It's Complicated...Celebrity Circus (cannot wait) and now this? It'll be filmed in Vegas with Jerry Springer as the host! I'm dying to give you all a play-by-play, but I'm going to have to shut my trap very soon so I can soak it all in and get just a little bit more stupid. At the very least, I'll realize I have no talent but I may also realize I'm less of a tool than The Hoff (at least I hope).
I actually feel like a bit of a tool...remember the giant random thing covered up in the yard in Maplewood? Well, mystery solved. Unfortunately, it was NOT a fig tree as one BLIRTy reader suggested (but this makes me very curious about how fig trees grow and if you put bags over them at any point and if they look like big rectangular blocks).
Another BLIRTy reader solved it...it must have been an oil tank being replaced in someone's yard because now there's a big patch of dirt that looks like something (or someone) was buried in the ground.
I went for a jog tonight and saw another one and would have been WIGGED OUT if I hadn't known about the oil tank trend going on in the 'wood.
But I have one new thing to share, of course...I totally appreciate when people don't just get mad, but they get ticked off and do something about it. Took this photo on my walk to the train station this morning. How awesome that they wrapped a bag under the sign!!! This is sumpn' special!
OMG, I love Sharon Osbourne....and the Brit Brit impersonator got through to the next round and he made me really want the old-school, hot, hair-extension wearing, lip syncing Brit Brit back! Come back to us, Brit Brit!!!
I'm off!
Friday, June 6, 2008
THE BLIRT 6/6
Imagine my surprise when this friend and BLIRTy reader from NYC sent this little tidbit of info:
"I just want you to know that as of tonight, Charlie Sheen and I are family. Brooke, a relative of mine (my cousin’s daughter), is marrying Mr. Sheen. Let the wild partying begin!
[I edited out a line about certain types of jokes] Any other snide comments are welcome. (By the way... I’m not kidding. Totally serious.)"
Please, please, please invite me to your family bbq's...please alert me when they're in NYC and where I can go to stalk them (I actually very much love Charlie Sheen for some reason!)...
I'm certain that BLIRTy readers have many, many questions, so write in and I'll see if my source will answer some!
In the meantime, let me start with a few of my own:
Is she really in love with him? Is she a good person? Is she a gold-digger? Was there a pre-nup? What does your family think about this? Is it all the buzz in the family these days?
AWESOME!
I'm not sure if I'm more curious about Brooke or about what's under the tarp in the neighbor's yard. But I will report back on both as soon as I have more info.
So have an awesome HOT HOT HOT weekend, and here's a hot song for your Friday Song of the Day:
Big Blue Ball : “Burn You Up, Burn You Down”
"Oh – who the hell is Big Blue Ball? Everyone should recognize this familiar voice – it actually says who it is when you pull it up on You Tube."http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KE7U7yrR-k0
I'm off...
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
THE BLIRT POLICE 6/4
WOW!!! I definitely got a lot of support for wearing a dress on Monday, and most people were okay that I commuted in flip flops. I may just keep working on being a girl this Spring!
Three (3) BLIRTy readers offered very welcome constructive criticism, which I'm always open to...do not fear (of course, I may call you out for it if I don't like it, but that's just the chance you'll have to take!! I very much love to start fights). But here's what I got:
"your dress is fine and you look cute. but it's not terrible corporate looking, which could be reason. or maybe she objected to the white jacket. paired with the dress, it's a little schlubby vs. chic. (sorry if that's blunt)"
Yes, definitely not corporate looking - especially with the Ponytail Patti look that I try to avoid at work unless the weather is horrible or I'm just lazy. But it was Monday and I was tired and it was going to be a hot day and I didn't have any major meetings. The dress does look much cuter without the jacket (SHOW MY NEW GUNS!), so I'll see if there's a cute sweater that I can pair it with for the cold train/office...
"Button the shirt and tie the belt outside? Lose the belt? Lose shirt? Lose belt and shirt? How about a big colorful necklace? Just options...but overall great work outfit. I think she was just being picky...you look GREAT! We should fearlessly wear skirts and flaunt that that is ONE thing that men may try but we will ALWAYS do better :)"
Love the empowerment statement - YEAH! Girl Power!
Now, the next GUY first said he was fine with everything...but...do we think he has some issues?
"Except the flip flops. Personally, not a fan. I understand, the commute and all. But not only do they make that sound, they also are supposed to be bad for your feet/arches. There is a difference between hi-end flip-flops and shower shoes, but not much."
When I asked him about an alternative to the flip flop, I got a huge RANT back about all things fashion. Please note that I refuse to take any heat for this GUY's opinion, but I absolutely had to share because there are all kinds of issues in these thoughts/feelings!!!! Tell me if you don't pee your pants while reading this crap!
"Re: flip flops: I have no answer, and no fashion sense, so I can’t help you.The fashion rules I live by:
-- Pleated pants suck. They make men look like schlubs and women look like moms. Pleated shorts are equally as bad.
-- Sweat pants/yoga pants/stretch pants, whatever: they are for the gym, only. They probably shouldn’t even be worn en route to the gym. They definitely don’t belong in the supermarket, esp not on the large lady getting the gallon of ice cream and party-sized bag of chips.
-- Shoes and belt should match, which is why I only own black leather shoes and black leather belts. Braided belts are bad. Belts should be worn every day and pants should not ride below a person’s ass. A shoeshine costs $3 and is worth every penny. Tip generously.
-- On a straight man, unless you are a cowboy, Levi’s are the only brand of jeans you need to know. If you are a cowboy, you can also wear Wranglers.
-- Jewelry is for women. Men wear a watch, maybe a wedding ring. Not earrings, not necklaces, not bracelets, and not pinky rings. Though I think the pinky ring could be ironic, like the ‘hipster mustache.’ Women can wear whatever jewelry they want, but piercings shouldn’t set off the metal detector.
-- Solid colors are less likely to clash. Also, clothes should be relatively free of logos/brands/funny messages. One or two excellent t-shirts are a fine exception.
-- When in doubt, just wear black.
-- For black-tie events, a black suit with a white shirt and a black (non-bow) tie is fine. Unless coerced by a very good friend or family member for a wedding or securing a super-cool costume for Halloween, there’s never a reason to wear rented clothes."
I would like to suggest Lucky Brand jeans for dudes as a better option...they make the tushy look nice!
Fast forward...I typed the above on Wednesday before heading to my first Yoga class that was amazing but may be my last. Anyway, I believe I just SPIT in that BLIRTy reader's face after Yoga tonight. Not on purpose to be mean, but it just happened...on an accident.
I was a NASTY, SWEATY PIG after almost 2 hours of Yoga, but instead of changing afterwards, my 2 friends and I stayed in our SOAKING WET yoga pants and wife beater tank tops and actually walked down the street to Cafe Socialista (? is that the name?) on 16th Street. Yep...sat on their nice furniture, had a nice dinner and a nice couple of glasses of wine. AND, to top it off, I also wore my flip flops!!!!!
I'm not sure if I'm proud of myself for that, or if I feel a little horrified that I went against everything in his lecture. Hmmm...
Okay, you'll have to hear from me one more day this week...I couldn't help myself. Talk to you tomorrow!
Three (3) BLIRTy readers offered very welcome constructive criticism, which I'm always open to...do not fear (of course, I may call you out for it if I don't like it, but that's just the chance you'll have to take!! I very much love to start fights). But here's what I got:
"your dress is fine and you look cute. but it's not terrible corporate looking, which could be reason. or maybe she objected to the white jacket. paired with the dress, it's a little schlubby vs. chic. (sorry if that's blunt)"
Yes, definitely not corporate looking - especially with the Ponytail Patti look that I try to avoid at work unless the weather is horrible or I'm just lazy. But it was Monday and I was tired and it was going to be a hot day and I didn't have any major meetings. The dress does look much cuter without the jacket (SHOW MY NEW GUNS!), so I'll see if there's a cute sweater that I can pair it with for the cold train/office...
"Button the shirt and tie the belt outside? Lose the belt? Lose shirt? Lose belt and shirt? How about a big colorful necklace? Just options...but overall great work outfit. I think she was just being picky...you look GREAT! We should fearlessly wear skirts and flaunt that that is ONE thing that men may try but we will ALWAYS do better :)"
Love the empowerment statement - YEAH! Girl Power!
Now, the next GUY first said he was fine with everything...but...do we think he has some issues?
"Except the flip flops. Personally, not a fan. I understand, the commute and all. But not only do they make that sound, they also are supposed to be bad for your feet/arches. There is a difference between hi-end flip-flops and shower shoes, but not much."
When I asked him about an alternative to the flip flop, I got a huge RANT back about all things fashion. Please note that I refuse to take any heat for this GUY's opinion, but I absolutely had to share because there are all kinds of issues in these thoughts/feelings!!!! Tell me if you don't pee your pants while reading this crap!
"Re: flip flops: I have no answer, and no fashion sense, so I can’t help you.The fashion rules I live by:
-- Pleated pants suck. They make men look like schlubs and women look like moms. Pleated shorts are equally as bad.
-- Sweat pants/yoga pants/stretch pants, whatever: they are for the gym, only. They probably shouldn’t even be worn en route to the gym. They definitely don’t belong in the supermarket, esp not on the large lady getting the gallon of ice cream and party-sized bag of chips.
-- Shoes and belt should match, which is why I only own black leather shoes and black leather belts. Braided belts are bad. Belts should be worn every day and pants should not ride below a person’s ass. A shoeshine costs $3 and is worth every penny. Tip generously.
-- On a straight man, unless you are a cowboy, Levi’s are the only brand of jeans you need to know. If you are a cowboy, you can also wear Wranglers.
-- Jewelry is for women. Men wear a watch, maybe a wedding ring. Not earrings, not necklaces, not bracelets, and not pinky rings. Though I think the pinky ring could be ironic, like the ‘hipster mustache.’ Women can wear whatever jewelry they want, but piercings shouldn’t set off the metal detector.
-- Solid colors are less likely to clash. Also, clothes should be relatively free of logos/brands/funny messages. One or two excellent t-shirts are a fine exception.
-- When in doubt, just wear black.
-- For black-tie events, a black suit with a white shirt and a black (non-bow) tie is fine. Unless coerced by a very good friend or family member for a wedding or securing a super-cool costume for Halloween, there’s never a reason to wear rented clothes."
I would like to suggest Lucky Brand jeans for dudes as a better option...they make the tushy look nice!
Fast forward...I typed the above on Wednesday before heading to my first Yoga class that was amazing but may be my last. Anyway, I believe I just SPIT in that BLIRTy reader's face after Yoga tonight. Not on purpose to be mean, but it just happened...on an accident.
I was a NASTY, SWEATY PIG after almost 2 hours of Yoga, but instead of changing afterwards, my 2 friends and I stayed in our SOAKING WET yoga pants and wife beater tank tops and actually walked down the street to Cafe Socialista (? is that the name?) on 16th Street. Yep...sat on their nice furniture, had a nice dinner and a nice couple of glasses of wine. AND, to top it off, I also wore my flip flops!!!!!
I'm not sure if I'm proud of myself for that, or if I feel a little horrified that I went against everything in his lecture. Hmmm...
Okay, you'll have to hear from me one more day this week...I couldn't help myself. Talk to you tomorrow!
BLIRTy girl signing off...
Monday, June 2, 2008
THE MID-WEEK (or Monday) BLIRT 6/2
I do not wear dresses. I wear pants. Mostly black pants and a plain top. No patterns. Every now and again I'll be adventurous and wear brown pants. With a plain top. No patterns.
This Spring I decided to venture out and made a few "girl" purchases. Wore a wrap dress on Friday and another dress-thingy today.
I thought everything was going well, until this: I'm waiting for my morning coffee when a woman in a pants suit looked over at me and GAVE ME THE ONCE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not even kidding. I watched her do it the entire up and down and back up again, then stared her in the eye with a furrowed brow, then turned my head as my look changed to the wide-eye look of sheer surprise. WHY DID I GET THAT?
I am fairly used to getting hit on by chicks, as I do have abnormally high levels of testosterone. But this wasn't a pick-up. Something was clearly wrong with my outfit, here's what I looked like...including my commuting flip flops. Ideas (I take criticism very, very well, by the way)?
I asked my NEW assistant take the photo - YAY! I finally have an assistant after Corinne left me a month ago (traitor). I wonder if she'll come back for a second day after realizing I'm a kook.And I apparently live in a kooky neighborhood. As a refresh, I live in The Jerz...Maplewood, Jerz. Here's something I thought was odd - what could be under this tarp? If it were April, I'd guess it was some sort of Christmas ornament still not put away, but I'm a bit perplexed by the shape of this...bodies, perhaps?
So thanks for letting me rant before Friday. I may try to insert a little celeb ranting this Friday...we have a BLIRTy reader who has a newly VERY FAMOUS RELATIVE that is in the news this week that I have to tell you about, and I may need to moan and groan about Living Lohan. Or that may need a special BLIRT because it's just that much of a train wreck. NJ versus LI, my friends...bring it!
So have a great day!
I'm off...
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