Oh, I remember it well...August 14, 2009 when we decided to pull the plug on the marriage we really thought we would remain friends. Then came the sadness, the changes to life as we knew it, the moving out, the selling the home, the transfering of crap, the dating other people, etc.
I knew the "he's dating other people" was tough to accept, but he was dating before we got divorced, so I knew he was already moving on. What actually hit me in the head like a ton of bricks was something I never expected, but should have from everything I hear about divorced men.
He hooked up with a young girl (not the first, he's 41 and seems to have a thing for 28 year old girls and younger...she's not the first) who I actually thought at one point was a friend. Yep. The girl was even at my house last July 4th weekend. Makes you wonder how long they had a flirtation, right?
So there I am...finding out that over my birthday weekend (the birthday where I had to pick up a check from his apt only to find just a check in the envelope...not even a note to have a nice birthday...wow...thanks), he was hooking up with the girl I thought was sort of a friend. Turns out she is really just an all-gums-smile, wide-load backside, bow-legged backstabber. I actually don't really blame him - she's someone he knows and doesn't have to do any work for - but it made me hate him more than I ever thought I could.
I haven't blogged since that day because I thought the hate would die down and I would learn something from the knife in my back and would just move on. But I'm blogging now just to say that I can't figure it out! I'm filled with hatred and bitterness. I cut off all communication with him...blocked everything on facebook and twitter...don't ever want to see his face for the rest of my life. So much for being friends!
From what I understand, he's doing things that he never was able to do for me, like book a weekend getaway. I always wanted him to be that guy, and he never was when he was with me, but for some reason he's able to be that guy without me.
There is a lesson in here somewhere...it has something to do with trying to make someone be who you want them to be, but I don't have a handle on it yet. Somehow it just makes me keep wondering where it all went wrong.
The lesson will show up one day, I promise! In the meantime, I just hear that all of this is "NORMAL" and to not be surprised if he's married in the next 6 months! OH, I AM SOOO LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT EMOTION!!!!
