THE DIVORCE DIRT 12/31/09 & Please Let 2010 Go Uphill!

Wow.  The end of 2009 is finally here and I am one of the many people who are hoping that 2010 will be a better, more positive, uphill and happy year!  Of course, tomorrow will not be a magic day where everything suddenly feels beautiful, but I do have hope that the sadness will start to go away and that I will take what I learned in this downward spiral year and hopefully move forward and be on the road to recovery.

Goodbye, 2009!  It's the year where cancer finally took my dad, the year where I thought in Feb that my marriage could be fixed, only to realize in April that it was beyond repair.  The year I dreaded getting out of bed almost every day and the year I cried more than I ever thought this tough chick would be able to cry.

But it's a year where I learned....oh, I learned!  And I would like to toast the things I learned about myself and about divorce:

• It's not just me - so many people are divorced, getting divorced, in unhappy marriages and just sucking it up, cheating on spouses, trying to cheat on spouses, emailing flirtations on facebook and thinking it's not cheating if there's no physical cheating (it's still cheating), lying, believing their own lies, etc.
• I grew up shoving everything under the rug, but if you do that the rug only gets taller and eventually you can't even walk on the rug and it self combusts!
• Honesty is tough, but it's the only thing that will ever keep trust in a relationship of any sort.
• No matter how close your friends are, your relationships will change and you will cherish the people who reach out to you when you don't have the energy to reach out to anyone and all you want to do is cry in bed all day.
• No friend can really help you through a divorce unless they have also been through one.  Your friends will change, but only for the better.
• When you feel like you're crazy and not normal and the world is ending, it is incredibly helpful to hear a divorced friend say, "Oh, yeah...I went through that...it's NORMAL"!
• Every girl needs a gay!
• Music rocks and "mix tapes" are important so you can listen to Miley Cyrus instead of flipping through sad songs on the radio.
• Sometimes you need to be yelled at!  My favorite thing is during a downward spiral when my loving girlfriend screamed at me to GET A GRIP and it totally worked!

Personally, I learned that I am tired of being a Planner and a Caretaker.  I take care of my family, my clients, my work, my life...which most of the time I love to do, honestly.  But to do it all the time is exhausting and it's time to be selfish for a change.  I want people in my life who make me excited about life.  Who wake my a$$ up at 6am to get up and get going for some awesome adventure.

In 2010 I'm going to think about getting a dog.  A Vizla that I can run with and go hiking with and just hang out with.  I'm going to join a biking group and explore with new friends.  I'm going to take more time to relax and just chill with my old buddies.

So BE GONE 2009!  Let's start this new decade with positive thoughts and start moving forward.

May everyone have a very happy and healthy holiday weekend and a great, great, great 2010!