I think I've made it very clear that I'm not in any mood to date (perhaps for the rest of my life), but I've been hanging out with a divorced girl who has guys coming out of the woodwork to date her...and her adventures are CRACKING ME UP!
Before I get into the faults of men, I would just like to say that WE ARE PERFECT! And we have yet to hear from our guy guest correspondent on the issues of women, so I have every right to be one sided at this point (this rant is his own fault for not enlightening us in how much of a mess we are).
My friend - we'll call her Magda as a variation of Magnet - and I are thinking of grouping guys into categories. We will discuss these categories at length at a later date, but today I would like to first just talk about THE STALKERS.
Stalkers start off all sweety tweety and they make us think that they are the most amazing guys in the world! You just cannot believe there is a guy out there that actually exists with these amazing qualities. They are tentative, they hold open doors for you, they are understanding when you complain that there's a former stalker in your life who won't go away. "Oh, I cannot believe guys are desperate like that!" they say.
Then, when the relationship should be moving from the crazy, passionate, "I really hope he likes me as much as I like him" stage to a more comfortable one where you're pretty secure that you'll see him the next weekend, he keeps going. You keep getting the text first thing in the morning, such as, "Good morning, Beautiful! I love you so very much and can't wait to talk to you today!" And you get teddy bears and hearts sent to your facebook wall so everyone can see that you are HIS. After waking up and realizing you have a stalker, you feel like if you get one more cutesy thing on your FB wall that you're going to go ballistic.
And then you get one.
And then you feel like sending THIS to his wall:
I am sorry to laugh at the situation, because I know it's going to bite me in the A$$ at some point, but this has happened to Magda recently and I think stalking is more common than we think.
I also think that MEN ARE CRAZY.
Not to spill too much of Magda's chit, but one particular stalker guy was living in another state and after 3 months of dating was secretly moving in with her without her knowledge. She knew he was going to leave "a few winter clothes" since he had plane tickets from a warmer state to the Northeast for 3 weekends in Dec/Jan, but you let me know if you think this is normal:
- 18 Business Ties (yes, eighteen! Not a joke. I counted them when I helped to pack his chit).
- A BATHROBE! Really? Bathrobe? I'm not sure if he packed the kitchen sink, but if you pack a bathrobe for short weekend trips I think that is an issue.
- One Peacoat. Normal, I think.
- Full on business suit. For vacation???? Really???
- A biker jacket with METAL SHOULDER PADS AND METAL TO COVER ELBOWS! What the heck is this, even?
- Black hightops with straps/buckles like the ones on ski boots. These things are heavy!
- And there is an entire humongous trash bag now stuffed to the top with clothes.
It has gotten so ridiculous that I have a suitcase packed (did I not mention that he also left a suitcase?) and I am heading to his home state this week and have every intention of dropping the luggage off with his mother! If we can't get her address, I am happy to rent a locker at the airport and have her send him the code to pick his crap up!!!!
What's a girl to do??????
Do I ever want to date EVER?
Divorcé Dater Guy, do you have any advice?
Does anyone have any stories they'd like to tell or any categories of men they run into on a regular basis?
